Accentuate the Positive

OK so I'm bouncing around in a bit of a rut 

I need to focus on some of the positive changes that have happened and I set myself a challenge to find 10 good things that have happened to me since I started on this roller coaster ride.

1). The biggest change is that I have lost 8 kg in 100 days. That by itself should be cause for celebration. The fact that I haven't lost any weight in the last 20 of those 100 days shouldn't scare me off. I just need to change my focus, try some new ideas and re-gain some traction right? All the ideas I've put together in my last post will help I'm sure. 

2). I have lost at least three centimetres off me butt, a good two centimetres off my neck, some around the area under my breasts, two and a half centimetres have gone off my hips but nothing on my tummy girth.   Clothes are starting to feel looser in some places but not that lose that I have to get smaller sizes yet. My tummy is still in the way for that just yet. 

3).  It's really funny but the circumference of my feet have shrunk. I know this because there are some pairs of my shoes that are now too big and Ive had to go and throw them aside to deliver to an op shop and go buy some new ones - well that's not a bad thing is it?  New shoes mmmmmm.

Christmas 2014

4).  Everyone is commenting on the changes they have seen in my face. That I have lost some of the puffiness and my skin is looking a lot healthier. Can you notice the difference in the last four months? 

April 2015

5). My nose is skinnier. Seriously. It is. I know this because my glasses keep slipping off the bridge lol. 

6). I'm not scared about going to boot camp anymore. In fact I'm really starting to enjoy it. I can do the whole 45 min without quitting though I'm not up to jogging or running pace, I can do a good quick walk.   In fact 7 weeks ago I couldn't even attempt to do a triceps dip like in the photo below but I managed to do five at boot camp on Monday night.   I even got a high five from my trainer. That was sweet 

7:). I can walk up the three flights of stairs between our four floors at work without stopping. I still get a bit puffed when I make it to Level 11 from Level 8 but it doesn't last or hurt like it used to. 

8). In fact I'm doing a lot more walking. The longest I've achieved is 4.93 km and that took 40 minutes. I turn on Map My Walk and "start my workout", find the AP for The Sound radio station and off I go. Walking is a good way of clearing the mind. I usually don't try to think about anything or anyone, though I wouldn't call it meditating but it's just a sense of mindfulness. 

9). I'm still having a love affair with Daf. You remember her. My luffly bright yellow push bike. Her and I have had some great excursions. Best one was 11.5 kms. I try to get out on her even now in the autumn but the winds just keep getting in the way and so I'm only getting 3 or 4 km rides in now but even so with all the friction from the headwinds I sure I burn more calories lol   In fact my app tells me that I have logged 338 km of walks and bike rides since 12th Jan. 

And finally number 10). It took me a while to think what number ten was and the. It dawned on me. 

I'm feeling a lot happier within my own self and more positive towards life in general. Sure I still have some stresses happening especially with not having any luck selling my house and pressure coming from the bank and a couple of workmen that I haven't been able to pay for the work they have completed on the house but that aside I am beginning to love myself again.

HOLD THE PHONE

I put on my favourite dress this morning so it would give me a little lift and holy cow.  I put on the dress and then the belt and realised that I had gone down a few notches.  Actually I've gone down three notches from the original one I used when I first wore the dress a year ago.

High fives and a head swell for me and ......

So ill leave the last word to the most wonderful Aretha Franklin

  

Hang on Help is on its way

So for the last three weeks or so, I've been pretty down that my weight loss hasn't been moving much from the 133kg mark- oh did I forget to tell you that I had made it down 8 kg - oh dear I'm sorry I forgot to yell out that achievement.  I made an 8 kilo loss in 80 days.

Anyway over the past three weeks I've been fluctuating between 133.3 and 133.9 kg's without much success in moving in any lower.  While It hasn't depressed me, its put me in a bit of a blah head space which in turn stopped my motivation to blog.  Which is really wrong because I should be able to blog the bad as well as the good - its what a blog is there for - to give me the space to express all the trials and tribulations.

My exercise had petered of somewhat due to the change in weather - sometimes a bit too windy or wet to bike and walk these days and I was being a bit naughty and having little treats too often.

So I decided that I needed some more support.

First things first - off to the Doctor for a check up last Friday. (Side note - she heads off on maternity leave in a couple of weeks and I don't like her replacement, so maybe its time to actually make the move to a local doctor and forget travelling back out to the Hutt).

Dr Liz recommended signing me up for a Green Prescription.  

A Green Prescription is a primary health initiative where GPs and practice nurses write a referral for a patient to access support for increasing their physical activity.  The Green Prescription is run by Sport Wellington and their support staff provide 3-4 months of phone support to assist me in finding enjoyable physical activity options and fit the activities into a routine and get me into the mood to make exercise a habit.  Which is going to be great to find alternative things to do during winter.

Another great thing about this Green Prescription is that they will do a referral to Wellington City Council for me to get a Leisure Card (through Wellington City Council) which gives me 50% discount off the admission to the local swimming pools and the Spa Pool (ahhhhh sigh) and 20% discount off the associated fitness centre memberships.
There's also some other added value like receiving discounts on theatre tickets or museum entry fees or other recreation and leisure services.

The other thing Im off to do is a 10 week Wahine (that's Maori for Woman) Wellness Course run by the team at MSP Soul Fitness (where I do boot camp).  It starts tomorrow night and covers everything from health checks, education, nutrition, and physical activity sessions as well as some inspiring and motivating speakers.  

Ive even given up Toastmasters for the next five meetings (Toasties is held fortnightly) so that I can attend this course.  Its free for the Wednesday night sessions and then i just pay $2 for the exercise sessions I attend - which will be my normal Monday night and then maybe the 7.15am Saturday morning session if I'm feeling motivated.

So thats the plan of attack - I think, no I KNOW that this is going to help.  As always Ill keep you posted.

Its the little things

Its the little things I've noticed over the last few weeks that have really started to make a change and I realise that Shit yes they were big things in my unhealthy life. Far more than the actual weight on the scales, these little things are starting to give me confidence to continue.  Though the scales are telling me I have achieved a 5.4 kg weight loss over the last six weeks, its not always about the wins on the scales that matter, but the wins in your lifestyle changes.

On Friday at the stadium watching the Black Caps slaughter England I walked up the 30+ steps to Row X three times, that's three times without stopping. I could not have done that a couple of months ago.

Today it was I walked up two flights of stairs between Floor 8 and Floor 10 of our building without stopping and without being winded.  That's a first.

Last Monday at Bootcamp I managed to do squats holding a 10 kg weight - I can't remember the last time I squatted (well without it being on the toilet haha).

And at Roller Derby scrimmage last week, we had to "take a knee".  Take a knee means a Skater has been injured on the track and we go down on bended knee as a Health and Safety requirement until the Skater is able to be removed from the track.  There was no way I used to be able to do this.  It was just too hard for me to get down and then get back up again - in fact it was really embarrassing - but last week I did it.  I managed to get down, stay down and get myself up.  All without struggling and all without help.  For me that is a biggie because its always been a hard thing to try to do.

And funnily enough my feet are changing.  I have two pairs of Wedges that I cant wear anymore before the circumference of my feet has shrunk and the shoes are now too well baggy on me hahaha.

And lastly the shape of my face is changing so everyone says.  I dont really see it myself as I stare into the mirror each day but those who havent seen me in a while saw a photo of me or the real me on Friday and commented that they could see that I had lost some of the puffiness in my face - what do you reckon?

Christmas 2014

February 2015

Happy Birthday to me

On January 11th this year (2015) I turned 46 years old. I celebrated the day with family and friends. The sun was out in force, there was a little breeze here and there. The music was playing, the BBQ sizzling. It was a great day and yes we all pigged out on fantastic food and of course alcohol.

The following morning, my first day back at work after three weeks Christmas Holiday leave, I jumped on the scales and saw that I had hit 141.3 kgs (That's 311.5 pounds or 22.2 stone for those who need to understand it in non metric weights).

Now I've always been a big girl and there are physical and psychological reasons behind it (that I'll go into at another time maybe). I used to be 150+ kgs 8 years ago but I had managed to lose 28 kg after my ex husband left and our marriage broke up. (mostly through stress and not eating binges which isn't  a great way to lose weight as we all know)

I managed to keep most of the weight off by having fits and spurts of joining a gym and giving up, walking and giving up because I had found a new man and I needed to keep the weight in check for him. And within reason it worked. I fluctuated here and there but kept my weight reasonably steady over 6 years at around 120 kg.

Until my 44th birthday that is. Until I broke my foot in 2012 (on my birthday yes and no there was no alcohol involved) and spent nine months on crutches without being active and then in 2013 (again on my birthday) my relationship fell apart and within three weeks I was single again.

So between not being active for nearly a year, giving up smoking after 30+ years and then trying to learn to live life again as a single person after doing all the grieving and soul searching and self pity and lack of self esteem that goes with a relationship breakup, not to mention the copious amounts of alcohol that can be consumed during frequent bouts of misery, I could be forgiven for putting on a little weight but hells bells I've put back on over 20kg.

So what the heck do I do. I can't afford to go to a gym. I'm a shocker at bag eating habits. Coke, potato chips and burgers are my friends. Jenny Craig, weight watchers and other diet help places are out of reach financially and I'm such a picky eater I couldn't eat half the meals/meal ideas they offer anyway.  I brought myself a bike mid way through  last year and its collected dust more than mileage. Good comfy sneakers sit idly in the bottom of my wardrobe.

I'm discussing my woes to my good friend Tanya (henceforth known as Ms Peas and I'll tell ya why later) and she suggests I try using the App My Fitness Pal to help with calorie counting and exercise. So I download it, play around, test and trial it and a week later I'm hooked.

All I had to do was fill in all my personal information. Height, weight, measurements etc and end weight goal and it gave me a max calorie intake per day to be able to lead me to my goal safely.

My goal?

To get to 99 kg in 52 weeks. To lose 42 kg by my next birthday

A big ask you say?  I'm a big girl and big girls need big goals to strive to.

This is my story about how I give up on being A Beached Whale forever

So if you don't want to see the semi naked truth then please don't look any further. But I need to face the facts.

This is going to be a no holes barred diary.  It's going to get graphic both visually and verbally. I May even no actually I will resort to a swear word now and again too.

I'd love for you to join me in my journey but if you're squeamish then I'll understand if you don't.

So there you go. You see before you the semi naked truth. Underneath the cool clothes I wear to work to casually hide my bumps and rolls this is me. I look,at myself in the mirror and I cringe at what I see. I cringe that my stomach looks like a beer belly. I cringe that my underarms hang out of my bra strap.  So now you can see too. Can see what I am at the start of my journey. 

So here I go .........